the five stages of grieving you

Denial
Frown where there used to be a smile,
Can't call it denial while my lungs still sigh your name to sleep;
Every night into my pillow I weep,
Crying and not understanding why this love we can't keep. 
This is just stage one of the grief before my heart, mind and soul gets relief. 

Anger
Bet you banged her cuz why you asking me if I slept with another guy?
There something you not telling me, you keeping a lie?
Back in the day you'd fly over “just to hold her” but now you don't even stay the night, so 
cold to her, showing her nothing but the back of your shoulder. 
Swallowing pride is a boulder in my stomach and you've done it too many times. 


Bargaining 
But I am yours and you are mine.
Our love is too divine, yet you see it like jungle vines trapping you in place instead of 
noticing how much they can elevate, if you just grab hold and swing, bold, trusting. Walking the ground but flying through the canopy; why don't you see.
Baby let me catch you, I miss you, galaxies between us two.
Let love be the glue.
I want to be with you.
Everyday, I choose to.

Depression
What could have been. 
Feels like a sin to let darkness win instead of love and light in. 
Sleep is a thing of the day because the nights I fight the urge to cry from our goodbye. 
Heavy sigh for a guy who doesn't care if I live or die. 
Says why I would think that but his actions shines a light to his lie. 
Patting an empty pillow and my tears weep like a willow tree, hanging low and heavy 
altering the shape of me. 

Acceptance 
I put my necklace in the mail. 
Sealed with an envelope including the origami swan I kept for one and half years that 
you made from a dollar bill, long before your loss killed my light and my face was dry 
from tears. 
Fearing life without you not because 
I can't do it myself
but because your love makes the world
so damn bright. 

I lost this fight.

I must accept 

a lonely life.

I will never be your wife. 

Published by misskris726

Bronx poet, artist and educator.

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